Saturday, May 22, 2010

Planning a Garden Memorial


Mom had specific ideas about what her memorial should have. Flowers. Music. Flowers. Food. Flowers. Family. Flowers. Friends. Flowers.

Mom was, is, and always be so much of this garden. Holding her Memorial here is as natural as if it were a garden wedding.


Mom did not want a funeral. She said funerals focus on what is gone. She believed the living are who need care when a loved one leaves.

She said that when her "going away party" is held, she is already with God; laughing at what we worried about.

It wasn't until her last year of life that I was "sure" of my mother's Christian faith.

She had entered assisted living because she was not responsible for daily care for herself- yet she was capable of complex conversation on a regular basis.

What she told me on one of our visits was that she chose to be largely silent on faith, because talk is cheap. Actions are what counts.

She told me God wants us to love him; if there is no choice; it cannot be love.

Why she left the door open as to whether we should choose Christianity or not was not a matter of values, it was a matter of love.

If you have a loved one with diminished capacity; stay close. They may still have wisdom to share.


Photographs courtesy of Gene Sasse

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lovely, Lydia!

I didn't know. I thought your mom was non conversant and to hear you tell of her wisdom blew me away. What wonderful memories you have of her even in her final years.
I am close to tears reading this to know that I will be onboard a cruise ship while you are there in your beautiful garden remembering your mom with love.
Hugs to you and your family. I will be thinking of you all.
XOXO Trisha

Lydia said...

Hugs back- Trish-
It took afew weeks to gather my thoughts. What was important enough to share.

It doesn't take many words to say something wise. The trick is to have someone listening.

Loving Annie said...

Dear Lydia,
She was a very wise woman, your Mother. I concur with her thoughts on Spirit.
Having a 'going away party' in your splendid garden for her makes a lot of sense and fits quite well.
((hugs))

Anonymous said...

Oh, L, I love this. Your mother was a wise lady. She also raised a wise daughter. My love to you.
xo Oregon Sue

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I know this Memorial will be really beautiful, Lydia...The Perfection of Nature--Living Beauty---What a perfect place to Honor and Remember your dear mother.....! She was filled with love for all living-growing things, and so are you.