Saturday, January 29, 2011

Invocation Excerpt/ Grief

Trouble creates a capacity to handle it.  I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy.  But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it. “ - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Reno, Fresh from The Youth Science Center Gala 2007

Remind us count our blessings. A lecture on educational trends of other nations is not necessarily bad. However- as long as more people choose to immigrate to than from our shores- we need to recognize that not all is well in nations seeking to overcome our leads in business. Other nations do not offer the educational opportunities that we do to all children. They do not adhere to our environmental standards. Their citizens not compensated as well as ours.
Reno, a month older
Rather than worry about the “other guy”- restore our ability to reach for a goal in ways the bureaucrats do not imagine. We were once concerned that a communist empire would reach the high ground of space for military advantage. President Kennedy set the goal to reach the moon.



Tahoe's second day with us 2007

The greatness of this nation is the creativity of her people unleashed. The engineers decided what needed to be done for man to safely traverse into outer space. Today we have GPS on cell phones, microwaves in our kitchens, computers in our homes.

 In the words of Albert Einstein, "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."

Sunset at Diamond Bar and Grand
The original text was longer than usual. More lamentation than usual. Imagine: a writer with mood swings):-  Not to excuse, simply to explain. I am discovering grief delayed- is grief delayed.

Sometimes we think we are "handling things well" only to find we entered a state of disengagement. Then it hits. 

Trimming and prepping the rose bushes is as much a ritual for me as getting ready for the hunting season is for the men in my family. One that for the  past 15 years preceded bountiful bouquets created for my mother's enjoyment. 

The purpose of my garden is irrevocably altered when she died.  Mom, I miss you so much. I miss your wisdom, your encouragement, holding hands and  the smell of  your Aqua Net hairspray. I miss it all. Until we meet again, May God watch over your sweet spirit. 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lydia,

Lovely, and you can imagine how I smiled seeing Taho and Reno's photos when they were pups. So sweet.
Nice sunset photo in DB too.

Wish I could have met your mom. She sounded like a wonderful lady.

Gotta run as it's an early event for me this morning.

XOX Trisha

Oregon Sue said...

Made me cry, L. "Grief delayed" ? My mother passed away and tomorrow it will be 17 years. I still wish she was here every single day. Mother - the soft place to fall when things go wrong. xo

Lydia said...

Thank you for the blessings of your comments, dear Sue and Trisha.
Today I am back to counting the years I had with my mom beyond what whe had with her own. I was 55 when mom moved to heaven. She was only 2 when her mother died in childbirth.

Not every child gets to spend a day with a good mother. I got to be a senior ciitzen with a great one.

Hugs

Anonymous said...

In Nov it was 11 years ago that I lost my mom at age 54, only one week after my loosing my husband of 32 years in divorce. About 2 weeks ago, I was lying in bed and missing her so much that I was literally crying.

If a person had a great relationship with their mom, I don't think you ever stop missing her. In my mind, the only thing worse would be the loss of a child.

Lydia, you are among those that understand, relate and care.

Hugs,
Judy

Lydia said...

Hugs, Judy. I remember my mom being i the hospital when my husband was not working. It was my birthday. I prayed- please don't let her leave me just then.

That prayer was answered quickly, clearly, affirmatively.

I usually feel my mom's presence in the garden. This week the presence was sad. Perhaps it was the move from harvest, then rest- to preparation in anticipation.

What I have grown used to anticipate.... I had not realized a bit of my own significance died with her. I imagine the feeling is a bit like how a broken vessel would feel- if broken vessels could feel- when it realized it leaked and it wasn't going to do any good just to pour more wine in.

nikkipolani said...

Thank you for sharing about this grief, Lydia. There must be many little things that remind you of her. I hope you'll find comfort in some of them -- even as you miss her.