37 Years of being Married to an Engineer- Advice to Young Couples

If you can't read the inscription, click on the photo. Taken at the Cheyenne, Wyoming Botanic Gardens, ol' Ralph Waldo's bequeathed us with good advice on what it takes for any venture, including marriage, to be successful.   

Never miss a chance to laugh

November 8, 1975. Gerry and I married. In the church where I was baptized and confirmed, we pledged for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health.  

That "piece of paper" the certificate- Don't underestimate its power. 

Our courtship was short. No way was I getting a hunky brainiac outdoorsman who wrote poetry and laughed at my jokes get away. I lassoed him up before he had a chance to object. Or have a chance to find out my myriad of phobias and insecurities.

The date was cemented when it turned out our first choice was the opening of pheasant season. For many years, our anniversary consisted of hunting trips with my in-laws, later our children and dogs in tow, up to Bakersfield with shotguns and dog crates.

The only formal dress I every saw my mother wear was to my wedding. 

 We proceeded into years for which, the longer I look back, the more honored I am to be his wife.

Who is this man I married? On top of being a devoted husband and wonderful father, he is the hardest working, most honest man I have ever known.  Gerry has this unwavering sense of responsibility. The customer, the company, his colleagues- everyone else comes first. It doesn't matter who makes the call or if it comes in at 6 pm on a Friday night.  Engineering is not merely his job. It is his calling.

From the age of 9, Gerry knew he wanted to be an engineer. If  you ever wondered  what an engineer at their core is- the good ones are that special breed of person whose  curiosity is endless. Despite his brilliance- or perhaps because of it- he can’t read a clock when it is time to eat dinner. Or go to bed. Not when his imagination is queuing up what is needed to turn an idea into something real.

His parents were of modest means. His father kept bees, joined the Air Force and became a welder mechanic after his service to this country was complete. His mother was born on an Indian Reservation during a rainstorm in Arizona. Her life was dedicated to her Christian faith, her husband and their family.  

The oldest of 3 children, Gerry worked his way through college.  Along the way to his dream he picked beans, worked shifts at a smelting company. As long as it was honest work, it was never too hard or dirty.

When faced with a decision, Gerry never takes the easy way out. He seeks to do what is right. He never cheats. He gives full credit to others. Whatever the personal toll, he is a man on a mission to see every battle through to success. 

The greatest gift Gerry ever gave me is courage. His unwavering fidelity is the stuff of Hollywood movies. If I have succeeded more than failed in any area of my life- he deserves the credit. I could never have lived so rich a life without him leading the way. 

Next year the dogs will need to be on the floor. I plan on holding babies. 

37 years. Each jets away faster than the last. My best advice on what it takes for an enduring marriage - 

 Marry someone you not just love, but admire. Even if children aren't a part of your future- many women's questions of character are melted into this question- is he the kind of man you would want to be the father to your children? Be there for each other when the tough times come.  Life isn't always fair. However, when you can keep God at the center, you will  feel blessings you never imagined.  Promise.