Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day -When He's Gone

I hope you've all had a splendid Father's Day. We started ours about a week ago. No, this is not normal fo us. But some years events unfold that remind us of the frailty of life.

While pondering what to write, I received this note from my husband's dear former secretary and friend to both of us. Lolly Schienle. If you doubt love lasts beyond this life- I dare you to read this, then reconsider.

For those of you who don't know Lolly, Peggy was her Gary's dog.

June 16, 2009

Two years ago today as many of you know - my darling hubby passed away. As I reflect a bit on our life together and a bit on the last two years - I want to say it's been a helluva ride.

I still remember that long, tall, gangly "drink of water" I met as a young teenager. Actually when I graduated from Jr. High School - 7th grade. He was my oh so fun summer romance - in the late 40's that's all they were. We kissed and went to movies and met each other's families and had such fun. That summer ending - and the fact that we went to two different high schools - we became friends. Then Gary joined the service at age 17 and I corresponded with him. He was such a nice person and I even wrote back in those days and we enjoyed each others letters. I promised him a date when he came home on leave a few years after he joined and the rest is history. We eloped/married young and were told it would never work. Isn't it just like me to prove everybody wrong.

Well, the saint and I managed to have three kids, and my darling high school dropout husband managed to get a BSEE degree and graduated from college. We had a great life and both agreed that the best part of being married was our wonderful children. We missed practically nothing of their sports endeavors and/or whatever else they were involved in. We loved each and every child with all our hearts - even though they tested us often.

As the children, grew, married and provided us with six grandchildren our lives were only enhanced by the growth of our family and their families. The seeds of our love. We were proud parents and great grandparents. We loved mightily this wonderful family and hated when they spread their wings and moved away. Not fair.

As Gary and I retired we seemed to have the time of our lives. We traveled, we visited family, we cruised, we vacationed, we flew (argh) but life went on for us and in our case we were ecstatic with our lives. We were doing all we wanted with friends and family and couldn't wait to leap in that motor home and visit everyone. Go to g'kids games, visit in other states, just do our thing. Life was beautiful.

We would occasionally look at one another and ask "how in heck did we get this old?" It was so fun. We loved each other passionately and enjoyed our days and nights together. Often we held hands and just chatted. He told me he loved my feistiness and I loved his gentleness. He could still make the hair stand up on my arms when he stood behind me and kissed my neck. We made fun of each other ailments. As you all may remember Gary shook a "tad" and I use to pick up the newspaper when he ate breakfast and use it as armor from the food flying. We laughed and joked and chatted and loved one another so much. I was blessed for this kind, caring and "gentle giant" in my life.

As these last two years have rolled past and I have missed him each and every single day and wondered how I have made it through the years - I know. I've made it through family and friends, through God and through the blessings in life I've had to dwell on. Never will my life be the same, never will I ever love another person as I loved Gary and, to be quite honest, I would never want to. Not many have the love that he and I shared and my blessings are amazing. Children and grand children and great grand children that I love. I wonder what words of wisdom he would have given us all through our many trials and tribulations over the last two years. I guess we can all wonder forever.

To each child and grand and great grandchild - keep his memory alive. How could we not. He was such a special person in our lives. Oh my Lord, did I talk about Gary and not mention food? What is the matter with me. I figure he's in heaven organizing a huge cookout and party tonight for the family and friends up there with him.....let's see, what's on that menu - butter.....cream cheese.....bagels.....snack for Peggy...... Evan Williams..... wine.....BBQ ribs.....ummmmmm, gotta' have steak.....snack for Peggy......baked potatoes.....forget the vegetables - nobody needs those.......grilled onions and mushrooms.....cheese and crackers.........snack for Peggy......snack for Peggy......snack for Peggy......snack for Peggy......(where are you daddy?....she's starving me.....snack for Peggy......

I miss and love him so much. God bless my family and friends and the love we had for this incredible man in our lives.

Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma, Lolly


Anonymous said...

Lydia, Lolly's letter was wonderful. The remembered love and memories are what we cling to. I too miss my Jerry who passed away 2 1/2 years ago. He was a father of 2 boys and step-dad to my son and daughter. I miss my Dad, a patriot at 17 who lied about his age and joined the US Navy in WWI. My Daddy called me "Shuga" , a very southern way of saying 'sugar'. These men in our lives, fathers to the core, will always be loved and thought of on Father's Day. My step-son said it was hard to be in church today and hear the tributes to many fathers, he missing his so much. Thanks.

xo Oregon Sue

lolly said...

Thank you, Lydia. It made me cry to read such a beautiful tribute to such a wonderful man. I've missed him so much today and thought of the fun we would have had. No doubt we'd of gone to Mammoth in our motor home to be with our son and his family. His smile is inbedded in my memory and I still pick up his wallet and article he owned to try and see if I can smell his beautiful smell. It's all gone. Just like him. What a tragedy.....but nothing can erase his memory and love from my mind. Lolly

Anonymous said...

HOW in the world did I miss this tribute? It must have been last weekend when we were at the kids church and celebrating our "saint" Dad/John.:):)
Lolly's letter was amazing and touched my heart so much. I could relate as I met my John while in high school and we have been together for nearly 50 years, counting our dating years. As we age and John started having some physical complaints I often think of our mortality. I treasure the time we have together and pray that we have many many more years together. I cannot imagine my life without him. God is good to have given him to me for sharing my life.

Thank you Lydia for the lovely Father's Day post.

XO Trisha

Lydia said...

Thank you to all who wrote in.

Time can change how we love someone. How we remember these important men. But nothing erases love. Not even disappointment or death.