Saturday, November 8, 2014

Thoughts on our 39th Anniversary~ The Garden as Teacher ~ Social Media and the New Ghetto

It is a blessing that when the sun goes down, it is easy to see past undone garden chores
It is  a powerful thing, to decide how to see life. You can see the time change this time of year as darkness descending too early or as a chance to enjoy the sunset sooner. 

When we got married, the bets were it wouldn't last.

We were too young to know ourselves. Didn't know each other long enough to know the other. He was an engineer and I was in fashion merchandising.  Our brains operated on different hemispheres.The cynics thought we had nothing in common.

Our own pastor predicted in premarital counseling " You two are going to have problems."  

Dear Pastor, I wish I had asked - Who doesn't? 

No life is without challenges. 

For I am a gardener, I have been a better wife. 

My garden raised me up to rejoice in challenges. It taught me to live like a runner on the track. There are going to be hurdles. Some are simply not going to be liked. Yet each offers not just the chance to plant your forehead where feet should be-  with each leap and land there is the potential to build skill, improve attitude and reap reward.

But only if we are willing to work through. Play through. Pray through every problem.   

A motto for workaholic recovery
Anniversaries  and birthdays. They should be viewed with gratitude. Every one a treasured blessing that may not repeat.   

My reward for foot surgery was yellow Clivia minata from dearest friends

I cannot pass a yellow Clivia  minata without wanting to talk to my mother. English was her adopted language, and she treasured  both flowers and language  like others treasure diamonds. 

My mother was a quiet woman, known to select her words carefully.  She epitomized the wisdom from Colossians 4:6

 "Let your speech always be gracious" 

This age of social media has created new hurdles. At the same time we complain about government intrusion into our private lives, we are cavalier with not just our own lives, but those of family and friends.  

Concurrently, it is fashionable to casually zing those whose different philosophies and beliefs with throw- away insults.  The consequence is that we are self-segregating into thought-ghettos with barbed-word wires. 

Unless this trend reverses, it is my strong belief that the loss of common civility and courtesy is the greatest danger to our future. 

I am of the belief that globally, the weather is largely in God's hands. But our words are our personal responsibility. Like it or not, we are judged by them. 

I wrote friends on this subject last night...

Words have consequences. If I am to eat my words, let their taste be sweet rather than bitter. Unless absolutely necessary. There is a place for bitter, burning hot and even charred flavors from both the kitchen and in words. 

God grant us all wisdom in how we choose our words. 

Until we meet again, Thank you for all YOU do to make the world more beautiful. 


  1. A very very Happy Anniversary, my dear, and many many more.....

    As to social media---it certainly has become a rather terrifying place...People saying whatever they feel without any thought as to how it might hurt others....
    Words do matter, Indeed! We are in real trouble and I don't see how it can change. Sad, Sad, Sad.

  2. Thank you Naomi. I remember when I first went on the internet, I thought this would be a great place to exchange of ideas- to better learn from each other- when it seems to be better at turning us into little tribes.

    But something will change. I just hope it isn't caused by something too awful.

    In the mean time- it is how I know you- and I am so, so honored. Thank you for the note.

  3. A very apt (though perhaps belated) response to that pastor! The trick is in how you work together through your problems and you and your beloved surely have. Many congratulations for these 39 years. God be with you both in the many more years to come!

  4. Thank you, Nikki. The concern expressed by the pastor turned into a hurdle used to better understand our differences. So it worked out. In the next life, if it turns out we know each other from this, I intend to go over and tease him a bit.

  5. Beautiful post and Happy Anniversary! Love is a decision...and everyday we have to choose it.
    Many Blessings,

  6. Lydia, Lovely blog today. I have not had the chance to wish you and Ger a happy anniversary. it sounds like you did.
    NO marriage doesn't have it's ups and downs. I remember as a newly wed some gal friends and I went to an astrolegist for an indepth reading. He told me some amazing things but the most discouraging thing was that this marriage probably wouldn't last, the goat and the ram! Well turns out that not only was he wrong about our first born being a girl but we will have our 53rd anniversary in Feb. It has taken a lot of hard work but so worth it. Huge congrats to you and Ger!

    I absolutelky LOVE the Internet! Especially Facebook. You are right, some folks have no filter but in my circle, the good outweighs the bad.

    XO Trisha

  7. I just LOVE LOVE the pictures of you and Gerry!!!!! Now I have one to post on your next anniversary! But, you really need someone to take a picture of the two of you today... or yeaterday ... or tomorrow!!! xo

  8. Trisha- I keep forgetting you got married at 7):- We're a goat and a bull- which would be a good excuse if I believed anything about astrology other than predictions of great days.

    I think a good relationship with the Internet is very much like between people. It requires love and respect.

    People have real intelligence- but computers are armed with artificial intelligence- a field I predict we are just beginning to understand the consequences of overlapping circles controlled by parties not in the least interested in us as people. Our information is for sale as a commodity. It's going to be an interesting learning curve.

  9. Thank you, Sue. Maybe after my next Beverly Hills Cinderella Day- we'll have one of the dogs hold the camera.

  10. Happy anniversary!!! We have 29 years too!

  11. Thank you Mary Ann- and cheers to the next 39!


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